This is a combined post because I've been out of town. Well, quit day is tommorow, so when I wake up I'm going to be a non-smoker. I'm excited, but still worried that I can't do this. But I know I can do this, and I will do this, it's just scary. Up until yesterday and today I've been thinking about it, but the day has come up faster than I was prepared for. But it will be okay. I'll be okay. Right? Right. I can do this ...
I learned a few things about the Chantix this weekend. First, I must be careful of my alcohol intake. I was visiting friends and went out dancing. I had one drink and was very noticably buzzed. This disturbed me a bit -- while I enjoy a few drinks and a slight buzz, I do not enjoy being very buzzed / drunk. I think it's the loss of control. I don't know, but what I do know is I didn't drink anymore that night.
The other thing I learned is that I think this Chantix thing is going to work out. There was a major ice storm yesterday in the city I was visiting on Saturday. The conditions outside were terrible and I had no place to smoke inside (I don't smoke in my car, or in my house, for the kids' sake). I attempted to get a few drags here or there, but I didn't really need it. I went 5 hours with only a few drags. During that time I felt like I wanted a cigarrette out of habit, but I didn't NEED one.
Driving back today the roads were terrible. It's a 3.5 hour drive from the place I was visiting to where I live in St. Louis. Usually, when I'm battling a slow, dangerous, stressful drive, I pull the car over somewhat often to smoke and reduce the stress, and keep myself calm and collected. It's usually one of the few times where I really feel like I NEED a cigarrette -- otherwise I'll drive for a couple hours before pulling over to smoke. Today, however, I didn't need one at all. I was calm and collected and didn't feel the need for the smoke to help me better handle the drive.
So all of this has made me feel like Chantix is really going to work. Unfortunantly, at the moment, I think I'm panicking, because I have this constant desire for a cigarrette, like I have already quit smoking and know I can't have one. Again, I think this is just panic from the realization that in a few hours I will have my last cigarrette.
Finally, in preparation for tomorrow, my smelly winter coat and gloves are in the washing machine. I will start the day with a clean, smoke free coat and gloves. All the more reason NOT to smelly them up again.
Whew! Tomorrow! Trepidation, excitment ... Wish me luck, and chances are you'll hear from me a couple times tomorrow ;-)