It's here! It has arrived. Too soon, in my opinion. At about 9 pm last night I had my last cigarrette. It was an uneventful smoke, if not a very uncomfortable one as I tried to get my last bit of nicotine in and say goodbye while battling the cold air and high winds.
I was in a panic last night, as anyone who read my post yesterday can see. I woke up 5 or 6 times last night. Each time I woke up, asked myself, "Am I craving a cigarrette? No? Okay, good..." before falling back asleep. Why I would do that, I don't know. I never wake up in the middle of the night and go outside to smoke. Like I said, it was just a panic.
But of course quitting smoking was the first thing on my mind this morning. Even though I usually don't need (or think) about a smoke for the first hour or two in the morning, it was the only thing I could think about. I didn't want one; I was just scared and wondering at what point in the day I would want one.
I got out of the shower and wrapped up in my bathrobe. I got to brush my teeth as soon as I got out of the shower! That was a plus because it meant more time in my warm, comfy bathrobe -- not a luxury I get on a weekday morning. Normally I get out, get dressed, fix my hair, go outside, smoke, come back in, brush teeth and then apply makeup. I just eliminated three steps from my morning routine!
When I got to work I was craving a smoke. I think the walk from my car to my building triggered it, because I smoke during that every morning. By the time I got to my office I was pulling out the crackers so I could take the pill. I ate all my crackers and then took a pill -- which normally would have helped me to avoid nausea. Not today! I guess the 1 mg pill requires more food to settle than the .5 mg's. Within a few minutes I was really nauseaous. Not as bad as the one day I took it, but still pretty bad. I forced down more crackers, and eventually it subsided. Now I know: bigger breakfast before the 1 mg pills. Oops, my bad.
The day has gone strangely. I've battled a few mediocre cravings. The rest of the day I've felt fine, but my mind has been on quitting smoking. I can't do work (as you can see with my long post from my work comp). And I just ate, so my after-meal craving is settling in. But now, I am reaching for a lifesaver to occupy myself with instead. *Deep Breaths* ....
I have not cheated. I will not cheat. I will probably leave another post later today ;-)