Day 20: Doing Great!

First of all I'd like to apologize about going AWOL this week, but I'm trying to make up for it by leaving an uncharistic weekend post. So, for those of you wondering if I stopped writing because I slipped -- nope! Still have not smoked.

I'm off Chantix. I have been since Thursday. At the end of last week (not yesterday, but the week before) I forgot to take my second pill. And then I found I didn't miss it. So, from Friday to Wednesday I only took one pill a day. Thursday I just didn't take it. I had them on hand, just in case (I still have them) but I've been fine. I know there will be concerns about going off it so soon, but really I don't like to be on medication. I feel like Chantix has served its purpose -- it got me through the hardest part: the first 2 weeks. If I start back now, no pill is going to keep me from doing that. And I have no desire to start back up.

I've been really busy at work this week which is why you haven't heard from me. The fact that I've been busy at work shows a vast improvement in my mental state since quitting smoking. In general I'm a very productive person. I work well and do it quickly. Normally. I've been feeling like I've been off my tracks these first two weeks. I think I figured out the problem, though. Most of the time I didn't WANT to smoke, but I did. The exception to that rule was when I was working hard. Basically, I love to code. So when I'm coding and feeling really good, I smoke, which increases the good feelings even more.

These last two weeks at work I've done extremely little. As little coding as possible. I had a big project to undertake this week, and I found myself afraid to start it. Afraid that it would make me miss my cigarettes even more. But I got into it, didn't stop, and really enjoyed the fact that I wasn't interrupting my routine for a smoke break.

I really do feel better this week. I am on the uphill climb!